denial

i hate it when i have to feel like this
the feeling that i have nothing to do but to stay quiet
the feeling of unexpected pain
you got me so into you
and now i really don't know what to do
i promise myself not to shed a single tear
but frankly, i guess that won't happen
i know that fairy tales had a sad ending
but im hoping that our ending would turn out good
i know soon or later i have to face the reality of living alone without you
but then i hope and i wish that won't happen... 

sana lang....

alam kong wala akong kayang ipagmalaki
dahil isang hamak na tambay lang ako
alam kong wala akong kayang ipagmayabang
sapagkat ako'y simpleng tao lamang

alam kong hindi sapat ang aking mga salita
upang patunayan sa'yo na tunay ang aking nararamdaman
ngunit sana'y iyong bigyang pansin ang puso kong ang tanging pangalan mo lang ang isinisigaw

hindi ko man maparamdam sa'yo ang aking saya
nung araw na tuluyan kang naging akin
hindi ko man laging binibigkas ang salitang mahal na mahal kita
ngunit sana'y iyong maramadam na ang bawat pintig ng puso para sa'yo ay totoo

behalf... ^_^

im craving to have you in my arms

wishing to hold you tight in the moon night sky

giving you the stars from above

and whispering i love you with all of my heart

i love you so much

that i can't help but fall in love with you all over again

roads may be rough, tides maybe high

but my love for you will be and always be true

kung alam mo lang... (revised version )

kung alam mo lang ang sakit na nararamdam
sa mga araw na ika'y hindi nakakausap
kung alam mo lang sana ang hapdi na pilit iniiwasan
sa tuwing ika'y naalala

ayaw ko man aminin sa sarili ko
pero talagang mahal kita at ayaw kitang mawala
ngunit kailangan ko na bang bumitaw
upang maramdaman mo lahat ng mga hirap na nararanasan ko...?

masakit man isipin pero dapat na ba...?
isang salita mo lang gagawin ko kahit mahirap at ayaw ko.
ngunit hanggang kailan dapat magtiis at maghirap ng sobra
kung ikaw mismo hindi sigurado sa nararamdaman mo at naguguluhan...?

malalaman mo pa ba tunay kong nararamdaman para sa'yo
kung ikaw mismo pilit na iniiwasan ang lahat ng ito...?
malalaman mo pa ba kaya na ang bawat luha at ngiti na aking nararamdaman
ang dahilan ng lahat ng iyon ay ikaw...?

kaya kong tanggapin ang lahat
at kakayanin kong tanggapin ang lahat kung para lang sa'yo
ngunit sana iyong malaman na may isang bagay na mahirap at hindi ganun kadaling tanggapin...
at yun ay iwan mo ko...

should i...?

should i wait or not?

should i stay or move on...?

should i just give up or hold on..?

every bit of this questions strikes upon me

every bit of this things gives a piece of pains

and to be honest..? i really don't know what to do...

i tried to keep it up, until i decide to let go

should i still hold on into something i know is not permanent..?

or let the pain strikes me over and over again until the day comes i give up...?

on bended knee

i never wish for this to happen
i never intended to make it at this point
i thought things were perfect
but i guess im just dreaming for some impossible things

i thought i have the perfect moment
but i guess every moment has to end
i regret for letting the time passes me by
i regret the day i didn't have the courage to say I LOVE YOU SO...

right now, im here on bended knee
asking you to be mine again
for a single day without you makes me weaker and weaker
i can't go on without you by my side

i want you back, i need you back
i want to treasure every moment spent with you
for i love you so and i really do...