a word from within

i'm currently infront of my laptop

but i can't write anything...

funny things is.. i really don't know what to say

i thought facing a blank notepad

would help me write anything.. but i was wrong...

it really didn't bother me that much

on what to write in my site

but what bothers me more

is that i'm starting to miss you so much...

i know i was wrong to be rude

i know that i should care for you at all time

and maybe i'm so stupid not to notice that at all

but i love you so much that i'm afraid to let you go

as i'm trying to finish this poem

in which im not really sure if i could

i just want you to know that im so sorry

and that im missing you so much...

bitter sweet

bitter sweet is what i say

a sweet of loving you

and most bitter feeling of leaving me

i'm trying to move on from the feelings

but every time that i do so

i always take 5 steps back from you

what else can i do

if my heart speaks louder than my brain

and no matter what i do your always in my soul

what's the best way to say goodbye

if all my goodbye's means hello

what's the use of saying ok and im fine

if deep inside me my heart is hurting and longing for you

tell me what to do to forget the feelings

help me to move 10 step forward from you

for this bitter sweet that i feel is softly killing me...

11/01/2010

stay

i let myself fall deeply inlove with you

that i forgot the place that i should i be

i let myself drew deep pain and sorrows

just to have you in my life forever

i never imagine that i would lose you

now im on my knees begging you please

to come back in my life and soul

and fix this heart of mine that is still longing for you

your million miles away from me

what should i do to ask you back?

im so lose without you in my life

i want you home back into my arms

how i wish i never said goodbye

to the hands that i always love to hold

how i wish i could still call you mine

and forever be here and stay for the rest of my life

10-29-10

so close

You’re so close that I can't reach

So far that is hard for you to hold

So near that is hard for you to fall

So deep that is hard for you to forget

You’re so close that I didn't even notice

That I can no longer hold the hand that once was mine

So far that I hardly forget

That you once touch my heart

You’re too close for me to handle

Too far for me to let you go

But what can I do

If my heart still wants you so near

You’re so close yet so far

So close enough for you to break my heart

So far for me that I can't hardly breathe

Whenever I know you’re in my side

10-29-10

why

Why should I always feel so alone?

When I know you’re always around?

Why do tears keep falling from my eyes?

Even I know there’s no reason for the pain?

Why should if keep on dreaming

Even I know it won't even come true?

Why do I keep on wishing you and me together?

Even I know I need a miracle for that to happen?

Why do I keep on falling in love with you?

Even I know you will never catch me?

Why should I feel so restless?

Whenever you’re not around?

How I wish I could turn back the time

When there was you and me together

Wherein we own the world and I have you

How I wish I could just have you back once again

10-29-10

right time

never try to control the feeling

if it still beats just for you

follow your heart

and it will lead you to me

don't cry like a river

if you know they never deserve it

fall in love for the right one

and surely they would take care of your heart

never give up when they put you down

stand up and you shall find the right one

never get to weak but always be strong

for the battle you face is only the beginning in your life

10/29/10

if you're gone

when i first saw you i fell in love with you

i thought it would be forever

but i was definitely so wrong

'cause of the forbidden love that we have

i wanna stay with you forever

i wanna give my life just to have you

i'll do anything for your happiness

but all of this is just " if only " i can

sadly, but it's true

but what would i do without you?

where will i be if you're gone?

gone and far away in my life

how i wish things would not be so complicated

so living with you by my side its easy

but what else can we do

if destiny tells us to be apart

i may not be the one for you

and fine someone better than me

i know you'll soon forget the times that we've shared

but i promise you, you'll forever stay in my heart

10/28/10

dreams

Follow your dream, follow your heart

and it will lead you to mine

Follow the stars, follow your soul

and I will always be here

No matter where your dreams bring you

I’ll always be here by your side to follow you

Don’t even try to look back

‘Cause I assure you I’ll always have your back.

10/27/2010

Leaving

Holding you near, holding you tight

Hearing your heartbeat into mine

Eyes like angels, wings from above

Softly whispers I need you so.

Leaving me breathless, leaving me death

While you find yourself into someone else arms

Crying like river, crying in despair

As you wish to have your freedom

I want you back, I need you so,

But what can I do if your heart belongs to someone else

Feeling lonely, crazy as it seems

Bidding me goodbye as you take my heart into vain.

October 26, 2010

breaking the ice

try not to sleep with a broken heart

for tomorrow is another day to achieve

forget all the pains that you have

and i assure you that tomorrow is another day...

breaking the chill of the night

that solemnly whispers through the sky

sweet words will always flow

as i always say i love you my so...

no one will ever know

the happiness that i feel, whenever i'm with you

so don't ever forget my love

that i'll be always here staying in love with you...

10/24/10

beyond the pain

beyond the pain there’s always someone that would try to heal you

beyond the broken pieces thier will always be someone that will mold you

but beyond on everything else… it is you that will always find a way to heal it

every heart that has been broken

there will always be someone that would mend your broken heart

and every tear that has been shed

that someone will always be there to wipe away all your tears

this is how life works nowadays…

but then as they have said life moves mysteriously…

maybe one day i’ll find you down the road

and i hope that day will be the day that i would say forever you’ll be mine

it's been too long

life is too short to waste with some stupid stuffs

but sometimes we don’t even mind them

i use to live with some kind of danger zone in life

but i manage to escape from it

coz i know nothing will happen though

life is a joke

and serioulsy im having fun taking with them

but come on that’s the life of a teenager ( if im still )

who knows maybe one day i could still be me

the way it should be…

missing you so bad

it’s been awhile

since i find myself living in the dark

clueless and no where to be found

i tried to escape from this things

but i always find myself in the place where i don’t want to be

since the day i let you go

i barely don’t know where to go

i want to run away from you

but in my dreams your always there hunting me

i want to bring you back

but i don’t know how to be with you

im in despair right now

‘coz your always in my mind

im missing you so much and that’s from the heart

i really don’t know what to do

now that you’re far from me

i want you back here in my life

‘coz i know it’s you that i need and the person that would

complete me the way you completed me before…

my past.. named....

this is how you remind me
with all your sweet laughs, the sweet voice
and the unconditional love that you once gave me

i know that i let you flew away
but damn what did i do wrong to suffer
such pain like this wherein i didn’t intended to do

you’ve gone so far now
and i know i can never have you back
but if chances would come i still want you to be a part of me

thank you

thank’s for being there for me

though i know i’ve given lots of pains

thank’s for loving me as me

even though i always make you cry

i never mean to hurt you

and i know i’m stupid for making you cry

i know i’ve been so insensitive with my feelings for you

but believe me.. i love you with all of my heart and i can’t live a single day without you here with me…

crush

how i wish i could hold you

here in my arms where i want you to be

how i wish i could make you mine

even it’s only just for one day

you’ve got me head over heels

and i really don’t know what to do

your shadow always follow me into my dreams

and it makes me all so crazy over you

i know i shouldn’t feel like this

but your sweet smile is always in my mind

i just hope that you’ll response to my affection

for what i feel is sincerely true

why?

i’m still trying to figure it out
why do you have to go so soon
without even telling me
that you’ll gonna leave me forever

i thought you’ll always be there
but i guess that was just only a damn dream
‘coz i’m still trying to make myself believe
that you really left me and you would never came back again

i really don’t know what to do
now that you’re gone and left me all alone
i know that somewhere you’ll always be here with me
even you’re so far from me and i never could not reach

cry

From
the past months that we’re together

I
always see you cry for every passing day

I knew
that you have your pains at from your past

But I’m
here to stand by your side forever

I never
knew that I’ll have to make you cry

‘Coz I
never wish to see you and make you sad

I know
that life isn’t that easy to handle for you

That’s
why I’m right here to help and lend you a hand

I never
wanted to see you cry again

For it
hurts me so much whenever a tear rolls down your face

I know
I’m not perfect and I make lots of mistakes

But
whatever happens I’ll always here to wipe your tears away.

with you

I can’t
find the right words

To say
what I exactly feel for you

‘Coz
whenever you’re around me it feels heaven

But I’m
being torn apart if you’re away

I can’t
explain this feeling that I have

‘Coz
this love that I have for you makes me goes insane

Knowing
that I know that your all mine

I can’t
ask for nothing more but you

I want
to hold you in my arms forever

And I wish
that this moment would not have to end

For I will
surely die if I lose you

‘Coz in
my life what matters most to me is you.

please come back

I’m stock in the place where you left me

And still I’m standing here waiting for you to come back

I can’t move on from this spot

`Coz I’m hoping that someday you’ll come back again

I tried to go forward sometimes

But I always end up with this place where you left me

Knowing that one day you’ll come back and be mine again

But I guess I’m too stupid to think it that way

I never want to expect anymore

That you will hold my hand the way you always do

I want to stop from dreaming

That someday you’ll come back again into my arms

But no matter what I do

My heart desire’s is always you

And I know this time that I am really stupid

For no matter what happen I will always be here waiting for you to come
back.

my heart's desire 2

I always end up with tears in my eyes

Every time I remember you

I always feel my heart still loving you

Even I know that your heart would never learn to love me

I know it is wrong to be like this

And I tried everything that I can to stop it

But I can no longer control my heart

`Coz you still hold and control every single of me

I don’t care of people would call me insane

‘Coz loving you so
much really makes me insane

I don’t give a damn if you’ll use me

Just to be with you always then I’ll take all the pains.

I tried to fall in love with someone to get over you

But no matter what I do my heart still wants you and no one else

And I have to admit this with myself

That even it hurts I will always and forever love you

my heart's desire

There are times that I cry myself at night

Wondering why my heart still longs for you

After you gave me pain and sorrows

Still it wants you and only you

I always ask myself

Why still I love you after all this time

Wherein I honestly want to forget you and move on

But still I just can’t seems to move on from this spot

I keep on pretending

That I don’t need you and that I’ve forgotten you

But it seems I can no longer fool myself

For deep inside me I always wanted and need you in my life

Why do I still keep on waiting?

Wherein I know that it is not me that you need

How would I move on to start my life all over again

If the road that I take always leads me back to you

the final drop

I had enough from all
the pains

That love can offer
and give me

No matter how hard
that I try

I always end up being
in vain

I don’t know what
went wrong

And I have no idea on
what to do

I use to stand up
with my own feet

On the ground but now
is all gone?

This would be my final
last drop

From all the pains
and sorrows in life

For I never wanted to
be in vain again

That’s why I’m
already giving up

aaminin

Mahirap
magmahal

Ng taong
may mahal namang iba

Mahirap
mangarap

Kung ang
mga ito ay pwang mga panaginip lang

Sinubukan
kong magmahal ng iba

Ngunit ang
puso at damdamin ikaw pa rin ang hinahanap

Sinubukan
kong kalimutan ka

Pero
sadyang mapagbiro ang tadhana para sa akin

Aaminin ko

Na kahit
anong gawin ko ikaw pa rin ang mahal

Hindi
magawang magmahal ng iba

Dahil ang
puso’t isipan ay bilanggo pa rin sa’yong pagsinta

my complicated life

I realize
that life is full of jokes

‘Coz I was
at the end of moving on from the pain

When you
suddenly came and ask for help

To get rid
of the pain that you have inside you

I was
happy with my own world

When you
suddenly came and make it complicated

A unique
yet complicated life

That’s the
life I have right now with you

I hope to
stay this way

Ad I wish
there will be no ending for this

‘Coz I’m
happy with the life that you have given me

If you’ll
always be around

without you

How can I
love someone else?

If my
heart is longing only for you

How would
I forget you?

If my mind
and soul only speaks for you

What
should I do?

For you to
love me more than a friend

What steps
should I make?

To make you feel that you’re the only one that
I need

I don’t
want to go on

My life
without you here by my side

‘Coz
you’re the only one

And the
only person that I need to make me from moving

it's you

It’s you
what I want

To spend
the rest of my life with

It’s you
what I need

To
brighten up my lonely sky

It’s your
love that I need

To help me
continue my life with meaning

It’s you
what I wish

To give me
courage whenever I’m down

I may
never know

How my
life would be without you

And I
don’t want to imagine it either

‘Coz
living without you makes no sense at all

love me

I don’t
know what within her

That you
can’t forget her love for you

I don’t
know why you love her so much

If the
only thing that she has given you is pain

I never
dare want to ask you

Why you
can’t love me the way that you love her

I know I
can never replace her into your heart

But I know
for sure I could ease the pain that she has given you

Can you
just try to give me a chance?

The chance
to love you with all of my heart

Even if I
know I can never be her

But I
could promise to love you more than anything else

This is
not too much to ask

And I
would never dare to ask you again for anything

Coz all I
want right now is for you to start forgetting your past

And love
me.

waiting

Once in my life

I never thought that
I would wait this long

For you to feel again
back in my arms

Just to gain for your
precious love

Waiting for you

It’s like waiting for
the crabs to fly

For I am not that
sure if I am waiting for something

Of just waiting for
nothing but a thin air

But I don’t mind it
at all

If you can’t love me
the way that I loved you

For I am willing to
wait for you to love me

Even if it takes me
for a lifetime.

for a certain named that i wish to forget

You always linger in
my mind

For some reasons that
I don’t know

“Coz whatever I am
doing

Your name is always
what I hear

I don’t know what’s
wrong with me

‘Coz wherever I go it’s
your face what I always see

I tried to ignore the
beat of my heart

But unfortunately, my
heart doesn’t want to listen

It’s hard to ignore
this feeling

But I can no longer
control my heart

For it beats only for
you

Even if I know that I
don’t have any chances into your heart

I know loving you so
much is wrong

But I don’t care even
if it hurts me so much

For I only know one
and it’s for sure

That my heart still
longs for you and only for you

chances

In life, we all have
chances

Chances that we only
occur once

But id there a really
so called chances?

That we have to
partake to make things right.

Unfortunately, what
we all care about

Are the pains and the
anger that we have inside

But we all know that
sooner or later

Will just realize
that all of this isn’t enough

Chances are given
just once

And with that, we
need to do what’s right

So, if theses chances
came up to you just grab them

For you to what’s
right, before it’s too late.

you

Since the day I
met you

I gave my heart
and soul for you only

Without any
caring if I’ll get hurt or not

Just to be by
your side always

You’ve loved me
as I am

Gave me courage
to my most weakest moment

Put a smile on my
face when I’m sad

Gave me strength
when I’m down

You have thought
me lot of things

You thought me
how to cry and how to smile

Even believing
into my dreams

In which you have
never let me fail

I may not know
why?

But I don’t want
to know the reasons no more

‘Coz with you by
my side, my life has starting

to make sense

the thank you poem

Loidz, thank’s for
everything

Thank’s for giving me
courage when I’m down

And for always
putting a smile on my face when I’m sad

Weng, thank’s for the
unconditional care

Thank’s for the
advices that you always give me

And for believing in
all the things that I do

Olga, thank’s for the
happiness

Thank’s for the sweet
moments of friendship

The bad trips, the
sadness and everything that we’ve shared

‘te Jheng, thank’s
for the good deeds

Thank’s for always
giving me courage through my weakest moment

And for accepting me
as one of your friends

Pubz, thank’s for
always being there for me

Thank’s for accepting
me as the real me and for believing me

And for the
friendship that we have shared since the day we met

I may not be perfect
as they think I am, but with you guys,

I felt I’m completely
perfect because you’re always there to give me strength

And you gave meaning
to my life and with this

From the bottom of my
heart tnx guys…

thank's

When I first came to
management

You were the first
persons to entertained me

Without caring about
my history and the past that I have

You guide from the
right path

Thought me how to
appreciate the life that I have

And shown me what
friendship truly means

You accepted the real
me

And all the small things
that I could do

On which you never
ask me to change

I may never know how
to thank you

For all the things
that you have done for me

And the friendship
that we built for the past years

I hope by making this
poem

I wish it would reach
into your hearts

That I’m so glad that
you became my friends

again

Here I go again

Bringing back the old feelings for you

The feelings that I have and I kept for so long

Here in where I stand

I always find myself longing for you

Longing for the love and the touch that you once gave me

I don’t know why

But it just happen and I want to ignore it

For I know that the heart that I loved, loves someone else

Maybe I’m back again

To where I left my heart from somewhere

And I don’t want to let it grow for it’s hard for me to let it go

confused

Sometimes

It’s hard to let go
of the person that you have loved

You always try to
work things out to have them back

But do we really have
to experience the pain first to realize their worth?

I never wanted to
give up my love for you,

But I have to
sacrifice my feelings just to see you happy with the one you truly love.

I maybe hypocrite if I
said I HATE YOU,

Wherein what I really
wanted to say is I STILL LOVE YOU…

I don’t want to keep
hanging on into nothing,

But whenever I tried to ignore my feelings for
you, the feelings get only even deeper…

I don’t want you to
go, coz I need you in life…

But sadly, it’s not
me that you need in your life…

I never know how to
start all over again,

I may have survived
the pain of losing and giving you up…

But I know I can
never survive if you will really going to leave me

Behind all alone…

i still love you

i have to admit
i still have this old feelings for you
this feeling that i tried to ignore
`cause i don`t want it anymore

but sad to say
it won`t get over me for some reasons
i wanted to go beyond what i wanted for myself
for i know you could never be mine again

i tried to forget you
but my heart says no, where my mind disagree to it
i tried to do all the things that i could do
to get it off on my system specially into my heart

but the feelings still stay
and i have no choice but to keep hanging on it
even i know that i`m just hanging on into nothing
for the one that i hold on is holding into someone else

only if i could teach my heart
to not love you and forget what i feel for you
but sadly, my heart doesn`t want to move on
`coz up until now, a voice inside me screams that " i still love you "

the management pipz

The 5’7
girl of our room is Loida Senapilo or Loids for short. A kind and a simple person
but with a big heart. The past few days she’s always stress because of the
thesis, but even if her schedule is that hectic, she still finds time to bond
with her family and friends.

Snobbish
if you look at her that best describes Rowena Calaguas or Weng for short. But tell
you if you would just know her better you would surely love her company. She’s
the type of a friend that will always be there for you no matter what. Weng is
a great lady with full of dreams and always looking forward to her future.

The Chocolate
guy that’s Remcy David. Simple person even if he’s a quiet person. He may look
like he doesn’t care at all but he’s great men… trust me you would easily get
along with him. He may look like a snobbish guy but he’s approachable.

Joventino
Hernandez.Jr or Olga for short is one of the unique guys in the room. Thru his jolliness
you would simply get along wit him, ‘coz he makes you feels at home and he’s
never failing to always make you smile.

Tactic
girl that’s Charlyn Palanca or best known as Lhen, like the others, she’s a
happy person and she always make you laugh with her jokes… she’s simply the
best when you get along with her company…

The stress and pressured guy, that’s Kenry Deza, when it comes to his studies he’s focus on it
and he always get it to the point that even his thinking of lots of thinks he
still finds time to enjoy life.

Snobbish
girl is one of Hiedie – lyn Regala’s trait. But even she looks like that, she’s
a friendly person and she’s good when it comes to lot of things.

Lalaine
Timbol is one of the coolest girls in the room… ‘Coz every time you see her,
she never fails to put a smile into your face. A quiet but a friendly person.

The girl
with Auto load, that’s Keena Gonzales. A unique yet sincere friend, we may not
be that close, but believe me, she’s a friend with a big and caring heart to
others.

The
varsity guy Mr. Rocky Silva, a good student with lots of ambition, he’s good in
lots of subjects, and he’s good when it comes to balancing his time.

Kuya Pubz or Ronnel Publico in real life, a former
ronadallan member at our school. A quiet but a great man with a
great personality.

The secretary
of our thesis group, that’s Yashmeen Yoko Reyes or also known as Yash, like the
others you’ll surely love her company, she’s simply the best with her attitude
and with her uniqueness.

The yosi
girl Shenalaine Gracia, You would surely like her with her simple thoughts but
with great impact…

Crizza
Lacsina is one of my group mates in our thesis. A very idealistic person and a
friendly girl.

The teakwondo
girl is Cristina Faye Dagpin. a very good person and she will always stay by
your side no matter what happen… a good adviser and a good friend… she won’t
let you down I swear.

The another
idealistic lady Jennifer Joyce Galang or Ate Jheng as we call her… even if she’s
busy with their business she still finds her time to bond with her friends and
with her family.

Another
yosi girl that’s Richelle Chua or Tel for short, she’s a jolly person. Simple but
easily to get along lady. And with her cool companion, you’ll surely love her…

And lastly
me… the rocker and the poet of the room… Ma. Teresa Ruybibar, a simple but yet
unique girl. Though she’s kind of a weird
person. Seriously she’s one of a kind… and she’ll always lift you up when you’re
down.

That’s
the class of Management 4 A, different kind of people and different kind of a
attitudes but when it comes to building friendship… trust us… we never fail…

pains of my heart

I
wish to bring back our past

For
no matter what I do my heart still longs for you

I
hope to have you back again

For
my life isn’t the way that I wanted it to be when I’m with you

I
have all the regrets

For
having you slip away and fell for someone

I
wish I never hurt you

‘Coz
up until now I’m still holding the pain for losing you

It’s
so funny to think

That I
survive the past few weeks without you

‘Coz I
know for myself that I can’t

But I’m
so stupid to think it that way

I
thought I’m all over you

But guess
what? I’m still into you

I
know I’m just trying to get myself hurt

But
what can I do if my heart doesn’t want to move on

I
wanted to shout

Shout
all the pains that I have inside and let it out

For I’m
just living in a dream

That
one day you’ll come back and love me again

friendship says goodbye

to tell you honestly
im not happy on what’s happening between us
but then i guess i should do this
for im so tired of understanding things
and i give up

im not closing my doors
for some possibilities that we could
still work things out
all i need is so much more time
to understand why you broke my trust and
betrayed me

its too late to apologize
for the damage is done and is already there
i keep on thinking every now and then
why did you do that stupid and damn
thing on me

i know sooner or later
i really have to give up the 8 years of
friendship that we have
for you chose to risk the friendship
and i have to do the same thing

its really hard to do this
and to tell you honestly its so hard to
overcome the pain
but then, we have to face this
for i can no longer give you the trust
that i gave you before..

if only i could

If I could teach my
heart

On how to forget you,
then I’ll be glad to do it

If only I could teach
my heart

On how to move on,
then I’ll be free again from you

If only I could turn
back time

I’ll make you feel how
I really love you

If only I could cry in
front of you

Then I’ll show you how
much I need you in my life

I’ve realized that
life is worthless

Because you’re not her
by my side anymore

I always fool myself

Thinking that I could
go on without you, but I was wrong

And now as I go on

I still keep on
dwelling in the pains of losing you

But my life must go
even without you

Coz I know someday I
really learn on how to set you free.

good bye, baby

It’s time for me to say goodbye

And move on to face another adventure in life

For I know you want me to do this

Because I’m waiting for nothing but only pain

It’s time for me to go on without you

For I know you’ve found the true happiness
that you want

That’s why I gave you up

For you don’t deserve such person like me to
have

It’s time for me to move on

From the tars and pains that I’ve got and
kept

It’s
time to stop dwelling in the past

For the future for me is yet more exciting to
come

But before I finally let you go

I just want to grab this opportunity to say

Even for the last time

“I love you baby and Goodbye “

my last poem

I’m tired of writing my pains with a poem

For this all shows and express the sorrows that I have

I don’t know how to grief upon this

For my pains I think would never last that easily

I tried to get rid it over me

But unfortunately this thing still strikes me

I wanna have my own life again

And face the day with a smile upon my face

Sometimes I wrote things if I’m mad

Not caring if someone will get hurt or not

For all in my mind that time

Is t get rid all of the pains that you’ve cause me

I wanna have my sweet revenge

But I can’t do it, coz I’m not like that and that’s not me

But how can I forget everything

If I still keep on hanging into the past that we have

And so as I stop this

I wish and hope that I’ll fix my life again

For it is not easy to go on

If you still have pains and sorrows inside your heart

This would be my last poem to write

For I’m tired of writing every single thing that I have

And I don’t have any reason

To continue writing, for nothing has left for me to go on.

and this is how my life works

I always wake up 6:00 in the morning

To get ready and fix my cousins to go to school

Not even caring if I had my breakfast or not

Surfing the net is my past time

Fixing my friendster is what I always do

Cell Phone for me right now? Ah… I don’t care

I’m always late when it comes to school

I don’t know but I’m being lazy this past few weeks

And I hate it when my professor always call my attention

Music is what I love most

For I can be myself and never need to pretend

That this mysterious person still had her pains inside

Smoking is making me addictive

And I can’t stop this insanity right now

For I can’t drink to get myself back to normal again

Gazing the stars at night

Is my habit and I always wanna do

For I could came closer to the stars and to God

Crying myself all alone

Became the worst thing in my life right now

For I always remember all the pains and sorrows that I have

Migraine, nose bleeding and insomnia

Are my sickness and that always strikes me

Temper and pretending are my worst weaknesses

Suicide is my most precious escape

Having my wrists all wounded by a blade

But still I love my life if that’s the way it should
be

Writing this poem

Is the thing that makes me weird?

For I have all my words shattered and that really sucks

This is my every day routine in life

As they call me "the ultimate pasaway"

But who cares anyway? No one and nobody…

the grief ( requested )

I was once felt what love is

And I thought it would last forever

But I was definitely wrong

For forever has also its ending

I thought forgetting you is easy

But guess what? I still have this damn feeling

I wanna try to get over you

But whenever I tried to, the feelings gets even stronger

I always cried myself at night

To get rid of all the pains that I have inside

I grief for the pains that you gave

And it seems you really don’t give a damn on it

And so I woke up already

That you’re not worth enough to grief upon

And that makes me realized

That you were just like them playing the games of love

forgive or forget

If forgetting you

Is the only way for me to move on?

Then how I wish

That even the feelings will go

If hating you

Is the only way for me to not want you?

Then let this love

Be turned into hatred and anger

If forgiving you

Is the only way for me to have peace of mind?

Then starting this day

I forgive you even the pain still strikes me on.

setting you free ( requested )

It’s been for a while that we’re together

Since I felt love and became happy with my life

It’s been for awhile that I loved you

Since I gave my life and soul just o be with you

But life is playing games with us

Because all of a sudden, I can’t believe that we’re apart

I know every thing’s happen for a reason

But losing you in my life, I can’t find any reasons at all

I’ve got to let go of you

Even if my heart only beats just for you

But it is not right for me to stay

Because I’ve got you, but your heart is not mine

It really hurts so badly

For I never wish for this to happen between us

But I have to set you free

For I know I still have my own life to live with.

for bhez

In life that we have

Trails may come over us

Things may happen unexpectedly

Struggles we may encounter

I may not be perfect as they said

But thru pains and laughter

I will always be there to help and

Guide you

I may not good as they think I am

I may be stupid as they look

But whatever happens

No one can over come between us

We may have lots of differences

But still you accept me as I am

We may encounter lots of trails

But trust me I will always be there

Lots of things had happen between us

And know one ever knew

There are lots of things we’ve been though

But whatever happens I will always be there

I’m always here

If you seem no one truly cares for you

I will catch you every time you fall

And help you to stand if you can’t make it on your own

I promise to reach out for you

Every time you need somebody to care

Just call into my name

And trust me I will always be there to catch you even in
your weakest moment.

the art of letting go

I don’t know how to start my life

In the way that I wanted and it should be

I don’t know where my starting point is

To begin it with a new adventure that life can give

I thought I’m all over you

But the shadows of our past still haunts and follows me

I thought I’ve forgotten you

But I was wrong on thinking it that way

The hardest thing that life can give

Is to learned how to set you free and let go

For letting you go

Is not that really easy to do and accomplish

I guess I’m just fooling myself

To think that I finally move on from all the pains

Or maybe I should first start

To know and learned the art of letting go…

letting go

i have to let go
for the memories are not enough for me to stay
i have to set you free
for your heart and soul is no longer mine anymore

pretending is all that i have
to show people that i’m strong enough for this challenge
crying is all that i’ve got
to ease the pains that i have inside my heart

giving you up is not easy
for i have to give up all that i have in life
but it’s the only way that i need
to find myself again and show the world that i could stand again

i know that my love is not enough
to have you back in my life and win you again
that’s why i wrote this poem
to forget all my pains and nightmares and finally to let you go..

missing you

What would I do without you?

Coz my life is being useless and hopeless all
the time

I don’t know what to do

Whenever I’m missing you but you not around

I’m hopeless whenever I tried not too

I’m missing you so much and I admit that fact

I miss your voice that soothes me

Your smile that always brightens up my day

I don’t know how to let you go

For I always want be with you until the end
of time

But I don’t know how to hold on

To something that I know may never be mine
again

But how would I move on

If every time I close my eyes I see your face

Every time that I’m alone in my room

I hear your voice softly whispering my name

I honestly don’t know how I started this

That’s why I don’t have idea on how to end
this poem

But maybe I’ll end it by saying:

My life isn’t worth living without you by my
side

scattered words

I find it hard and difficult

To write something for this poem

For all my words have been shattered

In different phrase that I really don’t know

Its really complicated

How to deal with this kind of stuff

Mixed emotions that I have

And still my words are in different phrases

I tried to fix all the letters

To form the
perfect poem for this

But still it doesn’t work

For you are always at mine and I don’t know why

And now that I’m all done

Still my emotions strikes me on again

I’m still confused and exhausted

For the reason that I still don’t have a clue

what if?

What if I told you I need you?

Would you hug me to show you need me too?

Or just give me a sarcastic smile and

Leave me

What if I told you I want you?

Would you want me the way I wanted you?

Or just starts at me and suddenly

Vanished at my sight

What if I told you I love you?

Would you kiss me to show you love me too?

Or just say you love me as a friend

And turn around

What if I ask you to be mine?

Would you care for me the way you do to her?

Or just let me stand in the pouring rain

With tears in my eyes

if ever ( revised )

If ever you say goodbye

I’d rather turn my back from you

Because it will hurt me so much for I don’t wanna
see

You go

Tell me or rather explain it

Why do you have to go and leave me all alone

How would I accept the fact that your gone

Wherein I know I may not see you again

Calling and texting you is all that I have

To feel your dear presence to mine

But we both know that this isn’t enough

For i always want you by my side

Now what would I do?

Do I have to beg you? Do I have to kneel on you

Or do I have to ask you

Not to go and never leave me this way

And so… as I end this all up

I only ask you this favor, if you really have to go

Please don’t let me know

For the tears will flow like a cold river in the
spring